I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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