Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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