If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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