My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In other news, I just burned my penis
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
