Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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