Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
