My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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