I'm going to jail i love you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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