I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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