fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
