is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
