She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
