Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
