If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
