I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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