i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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