is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
