We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
