well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
