Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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