You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
