Kiss
Puke
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
