Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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