$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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