Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
