can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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