I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
