oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
