All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
