I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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