nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
