Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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