Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
