i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
