so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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