At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
