plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
