He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
