Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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