just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
