I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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