are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How does one acquire holy water?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
