I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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