Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Too much gin, very little bucket
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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