Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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