a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
