i wish my penis had a tongue
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
