i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
