Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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