This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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