nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
