that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
