OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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